Grumpy's Butt Stuff

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The “3-Ingredient” Biscuit

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The “3-Ingredient” Biscuit

  • Prep time: 10 minutes

  • Cook time: 12–15 minutes

  • Yields: 8–10 biscuits

Ingredients

  • 2 cups White Lily Self-Rising Flour (plus a little extra for dusting your counter)

  • 1/4 cup Crisco Shortening (Cold is best)

  • 3/4 to 1 cup Buttermilk (Whole milk works too, but buttermilk makes them fluffier)

Instructions

1. Prep the Oven

Preheat your oven to 475°F (245°C). A hot oven is the secret to a good rise.

2. Cut in the Shortening (Stand Mixer)

  • Place the 2 cups of flour into your stand mixer bowl.

  • Add the 1/4 cup shortening.

  • Using the paddle attachment, mix on LOW speed.

  • Stop when the mixture looks like coarse crumbs or small peas. This usually takes about 1–2 minutes.

3. Add the Liquid

  • Make a small well in the center of the flour.

  • Pour in 3/4 cup of buttermilk.

  • Mix on LOW just until the dough comes together and pulls away from the sides of the bowl.

    • Note: The dough should be sticky. If it looks too dry/crumbly, add the remaining 1/4 cup of milk a tablespoon at a time.

    • CRITICAL: Do not overmix here, or the biscuits will be tough. Stop as soon as the flour is wet.

4. Fold and Cut

  • Dump the dough onto a floured surface. Dust your hands with flour.

  • Fold the dough: Gently fold the dough over onto itself 2 or 3 times. This creates the flaky layers.

  • Pat the dough down gently with your hands until it is about 1/2 to 3/4 inch thick. (Do not use a rolling pin if you can avoid it; hands keep the dough tender).

  • Cut with a biscuit cutter (or the rim of a drinking glass). Press straight down and pull up—do not twist the cutter, or the edges will seal and stop the biscuit from rising.

5. Bake

  • Place biscuits on a baking sheet.

    • For soft sides: Place them so they are touching each other.

    • For crispy sides: Place them about 1 inch apart.

  • Bake for 12–15 minutes or until the tops are golden brown.

3 Secrets for Success

  1. Keep it Cold: If your kitchen is hot, chill your shortening and buttermilk before starting. Cold fat releases steam while baking, which creates fluffiness.

  2. Don’t Twist: When cutting the biscuits, twisting the cutter “seals” the edges and prevents them from rising high. Push straight down, lift straight up.

  3. Melted Butter Finish: As soon as they come out of the oven, brush the tops with a little melted butter for that classic diner taste.